Thursday, April 5, 2018

Late Mitchell Warren RIP

Late Mitchell Warren is a character I created years ago because I was afraid of speaking my mind...and because I was eager to offend everyone, troll everyone on the Internet, and prove something to the world.

Nowadays I don't really care about any of that stuff.

I think this is what 40 feels like, realizing that the stuff that really bothered you in your 20s really doesn't matter in the stream of time.

Politics and religion today will all be irrelevant in another 1000 years. We only pile on the miseries by devoting so much time to nonsensical right vs left hyperbole.

We burden ourselves with stress, sleepless nights, and bouts of rage over the fact that we can't change certain animals from following their instincts and being those animals. (P.S. the answer is war...it always has been and always will be)

But I think maybe there is clarity as you grow older.

There is symmetry in admitting that you don't know. That everything we tell ourselves about what "IS", what IS for sure, is all speculation, the pats and caresses we give ourselves because we're afraid to admit some things are unknowable.

Happiness is realizing that none of it matters, and that "nihilism" is simply trying to see the ends of the universe from a microscope. What matters is not how you define life and the universe, because such perspective-based dogma is as useful as your grocery list. Such is merely the things that sustain you.

Happiness is in experiencing joy in the little moments. Because joy reminds you that you're alive. Joy is life.

Negativity reminds you that Life is not ENOUGH. It's a death sentence to an intelligent person. It's a prescription for insanity, especially if you write a million words about allegorical depressive nonsense.

Happiness is not being optimistic about your plan to change the world. It's about *not* changing the world and accepting that you never will. It's about admitting your complete lack of value, a minutia of life, a infinitesimal speck that grew from space mold. But still finding the time to enjoy Good Things.

Your perspective, your mindfulness, allows you to enjoy good things.

Happiness is in realizing that life is all a hologram. And that there really is no difference between THEN and NOW. All you are is your current perspective and what you think your memories have turned you into.

All you are is what you accept that you "see" in real time. Whatever it is that you see, the lies you tell yourself, or the illusions you insist are there, will be your reality as you know it.

I realized this just a few days ago, when I experienced what is called "unconscious selective attention."

For about two years, I've been occasionally going to a local church. In this building, I saw an empty wall in the corner.

I had always considered it a fire hazard since the emergency exit door was on the other side of the building. What if there was a fire or a shooter? I sit near the back...so in the event of disaster, I would be sitting against an empty wall with no escape.

I had numerous conversations with people about that empty wall. I thought about it a little obsessively for the longest time.

Most people I talked to about it said, "I doubt anything would ever happen" or "If that happens, just work your way back towards the library room and lay low." (No mention of the fact that the fire exit was RIGHT THERE and all I would have to do is just exit quickly from that door that was just a few feet away from me)

Then, one day I suddenly noticed that there was a huge fire exit door with a fire extinguisher. It had been there the whole time, but I never saw before it until that day.

I told my wife about seeing that "empty wall" and had full conversations with her about my paranoia of something bad happening because of a lack of an exit door.

Then the last time I mentioned it, she said, "What are you talking about? The second emergency exit door has ALWAYS been there." (Proving that they did not just recently install it)

To my perspective, it seemed as if the fire escape appeared out of thin air. I could argue all day that it was in fact NOT there and that the environment changed. That was "fact" to me, that it wasn't there, because my perspective told me it was.

Was it always there (and am I going senile) or did it suddenly appear? Was this a glitch in the matrix?

No, my perspective and my unconscious simply demanded that it wasn't there and so I never saw it.

That experience helped me to realize something else about my current perspective: that I don't like myself.

I don't like the person I've become.

I am the result of a lifetime of mistakes and on hyper-focusing on the most negative, depressing and vile stories of humanity. I am an internally, destructive force, the cerebral equivalent of a tornado, and all my friends, enemies and acquaintances can hope to do is survive my presence.

I no longer consider myself a writer. I am retiring from writing permanently. Tis better to leave the world in the hands of writers who believe in something...who still have faith, or hope, or vision, preferably something better than the swamp of futility that I refuse to leave. The nothingness, the frailty, the imperfection and the suffering of mankind that only the depressive perspective sees.

I think my life is more than half over. Another thing you realize about turning 40: all the seeds you sowed from 18 and on either grow or they die within 20 years.

To the young, I suggest you sow those seeds as soon as possible rather than waiting. Because when you're my age, it's time to start ENJOYING what you have, rather than waste anymore time chasing rainbows.

Most of the friendships and career opportunities I had in my 20s have long expired. Even some of my best friends are dead or at least are ghosts of their former selves, back when I knew them.

What do I have to show for my life 40 years later? Just over 100 friends on my other profile and a much longer list of acquaintances who used me for various purposes and forgot me when they found better offers elsewhere.

I now cling to what still IS, rather than what could have been.

The only thing I have left in this world is not anything I have to give, but only what I have been given.

My wife Heather Warren who has tolerated my stupidity and (Mary) melancholy for ten years, like a wonderful and fearless witch. (And I use witch only in the most respectful and affectionate terms-witches are beautiful)

That, together with the fact that she can stand my horrifically ugly face and my even more demonic and poisonous personality, which has historically repelled all other women, is a testament to her moral and intellectual strength.

She is and always will be my Prince Valiant - a character from "The Twin Flame", a book I will probably never finish. But the point was, she is pure, she is stalwart and the incorruptible knight every Disney Princess dreams of marrying. Nothing of which I deserve, but that which has been generously given to me.

I will spend the rest of my life enjoying my limited time with her. Enjoying life and shunning the depression and moral decay that has permeated my life for so long. Hopefully, my parents will move up near me too, and give me a few moments of peace.

I have no more time to waste wondering where I went wrong in life. I only want to dwell on happy thoughts from now until the end of this world, and this human body, because I have dug myself into the molten bottom of despair and discovered Hell for what it always has been - the present-tense perspective of human suffering.

The book "Jaded Sapphira" ends with my legendary character Hal Persill committing suicide as retribution to a God he hated. He does so without ever learning of his daughter Floren's existence. She was, perhaps, the only thing that could have made him happy in life. She was the blessing of God that he missed, in his arrogance, and in his nihilism.

All these years later, I understand why I wrote it. As a reminder not to go down that path - it's a road to nowhere.

So yes, I do consider myself *blessed* in that I have a wife who loves me. She is quite literally, I feel, what God has given me in this life.

What I needed to survive, what I LACKED from a previous life, because I missed the point of existence when I lived so self-indulgently as King Solomon.

She is God's blessing, a love note from the Universe and she always has been. Whatever God is, if he/she exists, permeates the likes of such an honorable and altruistic creature.

Feel free to join me on my other pages...but know that Late Mitchell Warren is officially dead.

http://facebook.com/magicalkingdomx

https://twitter.com/magicalkingdomX

https://www.pinterest.com/magicalkingdomX/

https://www.instagram.com/magicalkingdomX/

https://themagicalkingdomx.tumblr.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW8cAvU2r7nTpONhLy0Jtsw

https://magicalkingdomx.blogspot.com/

https://www.reddit.com/user/TheMagicalKingdom6/

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7309105.Mitchell_Warren

https://www.quora.com/profile/Mitchell-Warren-7

Thursday, January 11, 2018

The End of the Magical Kingdom Pre-Interview, 2017




L.M. Warren's "The End of the Magical Kingdom” trilogy was always devised as the strange mutant baby of internet cartoons and social media trolling.  Subversify caught up with Mitchell and piqued his mind regarding his unique writing style, which is often described as “emotionally violent” and “hostile to the audience.”

Q: Many of your glowing reviews liken your writing to “trainwreck poetry”.  It’s beautiful, it’s poetic and yet it’s a traumatic experience.  Why?

A: I believe it’s the voice of the Now, as opposed to ten or twenty years ago.  This is a new generation.  Modern writing is emotive.  It’s harsh.  It’s more clever than soothing.  Many of us in the Y-Generation used to read for education but we relaxed by watching cartoons and flame-warring on message boards.  The language of script writing has always been, historically speaking, punchy and aggressive.  That’s probably why people who love movies enjoy my writing.  It feels like a cartoon or a live-action play, rather than a traditional novel.

Q: You cite Susan Harris and the sitcom Soap as one of your main influences.  Why go for laughs when most novels are about deep introspection and high drama?

A: I think a lot of writers are so keen on following rules of serious literature, they forget the essence of human storytelling.  It’s about conflict.  It’s about keeping your sense of humor, even in the darkest of times.  It’s holding the audience’s imagination hostage with a glimpse into another world.   Maybe that world is Hell, but it’s always interesting.  I really don’t think any show has ever matched Soap’s tone either, at least as far as telling a dramatic story in an exaggerated and funny way.  All in the Family was realistic comedy.  Soap was surreal and yet emotionally brutal.  I was inspired a lot by that. The Maxx was another influence.  It was tragedy written in quirky comic book speak language. Fusion literature.

Q: With your trilogy of books you do just that, fuse together “serious literature” with juvenile profanity and sarcasm.  You’ve described it as social commentary that the South Park generation can appreciate.  Yet, whereas cartoon shows have a “nothing sacred” collection of barbs, you insist on adding scenes of such unrelenting depression and tragedy in between sitcom-like scenes.  You tell the audience it’s time to laugh, only to leave them in tears.

A: Yes, it may come from the fact that I’m a depressive.  Or it could be that I simply have a great desire to write literature but in a brand new comedic voice.  Some of my darkest creative influences come from the distant past.  Our Town, Death of a Salesman, Animal Farm and the original Brothers Grimm.  This is what’s shaping my world.  And I don’t believe in going all Stephen King on you and describing the grass for 50 pages.  It’s happening in real time, at least in my mind it is.

Q: Is the book for younger readers?  Or does it target more sophisticated readers over the age of 40?

A: Older readers immediately catch onto the social satire.  But younger readers will like it regardless of whether they understand what every allegorical character represents.  We’re not giving the younger generation enough credit.  Sure, there are many that don’t read.  But the ones that do are eager to read something new.  The millennial generation doesn’t want clichés, formulaic plots and predictable Harlequin romance.  If you actually read modern fanfiction on the Internet, some of it is very bleak and bizarre stuff.  This is what younger crowds enjoy.  Something they’ve never seen before, something their parents have never seen before.

Q: You’ve written a War and Peace-sized trilogy of books written for short-attention span audiences of today.  If the objective is to appeal to short attention spans, why make the series so long?

A: Everybody loves an ongoing story.  It just takes some planning to make it accessible.  If our goal as modern and influential storytellers is to build franchises, then we’re actually writing books to read for people who hate reading.  The challenge is in hooking them with strong imagery, with comedy, and with easy flowing contemporary language.

Q: You made these books as ADHD-friendly as modern writing can get, with scenes of intense emotional brutality, obscene limericks posing as faux Disney-songs, over the top descriptions of sex and violence, and as many references to illegal drugs as you could fit into a PG-13 rated book.

A: Yes the mock of Disney is intentional.  It’s a mask of a family friendly G-rated book, a tongue in cheek sort of thing.  In actuality it’s a horrific satire of man’s violent nature.  It does feel as if “you’re there”, because the prose relies on hypnotic suggestion, which I’ve also studied for quite some time.  And in scenes of brutality, yes, that’s harrowing to read.  But we imagine ourselves in this hypothetical world, experiencing a new life.  And yes, if your imagination is vivid, sometimes that world is uncomfortable.  It’s an experience you’ll never forget.

Q: You’re having far too much fun trolling the literary world.

A: I think we as new age authors have a responsibility to save writing, to keep the art of it alive.  I have no interest in making movies.  My heart is in writing and always will be.  But that doesn’t mean I will deny my readers of the full cinematic experience that the movies give them.  If the worst they say about my book is that it’s a series of books for people that hate reading, then I’ll take that as a compliment.  If the second worst thing they can say about me is that I troll the literary world, that’s a fascinating compliment and I’ll take that too.


A:Now that the NSA and FBI have been alerted with carefully chosen keywords, let's talk about what "terrorism" means.


MW: Terrorism is defined as the use of violence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims.
That's a broad definition and one that encompasses the State as well as the Revolution. We identify terrorists as such because we cannot bear to describe our "enemy" as merely another group of soldiers. We cannot imagine our own country as one that uses violence or intimidation to ensure their political aims.

We outgrew the term "commie" because we saw the fall of the Soviet Union, and though there is a renaissance of Russian-hate building again, most people will not accept another war that has already come and gone.

Now it's time for companies / countries to re-brand the marketing. "Enemy" is such an empty word and it makes people think too hard about who is actually good and who is evil. "Terrorist" is a much easier word to accept because it is implied that terrorists are without souls, without conscience or compassion, and that they do cruel and sickening things to innocent people.

But if you take away the label of terrorist and describe a Good Christian who is willing to die for Jesus, or a Good Soldier who is willing to die for his country, you have something wonderful and inspirational.

The State not only takes on the actions of terrorists by using violence against innocent civilians (called Imperialism when it's the wealthy attacking the poor) but sometimes they can actually help promote other terrorist entrepreneurs as a means of distraction. Whether it's funding "terrorist" groups overseas or creating fictitious terrorist threats, or inadvertently creating vengeful monsters out of the remains of broken people. Sexy, if it's someone like Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger looking for patriotic revenge - disgusting if it's a dark skinned man speaking Arabic, fighting for the vengeance of his dead child.

The people of the French Revolution, rebelling against the rich and elite were the terrorists of their day. Witches, who resisted the teachings of Protestant and Catholic religions were something to be abhorred, even more disgusting than terrorists - they were heathens, orgiasts, baby killers and Satanic vessels, deserving of nothing but rape and death.  Even in modern terms, mankind has used words like "Savages" to describe Native Americans or African Americans - because they were the "enemy" that threatened our own lives, our selfish expansion of culture.

"Witches Are Terrorists"

Everybody loves a hero and despises a villain because that's what evokes emotion and emotion incites war.

In my book, "The End of the Magical Kingdom", witches are terrorists or "horrorists", as the civilized world calls them. Some are merely labeled that way because they are enemies of the state. Others are self-identified because their mission is to overthrow the government and start a new change - the very thing Trump supporters wanted months ago, and now the very thing Hillary followers crave more than anything.

The point being that to describe something as less than human, as something as disgusting and soulless as an animal (er, except dogs and cats, because they don't deserve the death and torture that cows and pigs are subject to because of their immoral lifestyles) is to justify the most vile and exploitative behavior we are capable of - to show us the harrowing mob justice mankind dispenses, once he is driven into an emotional stampede.

Terrorists are not human. They are witches, they are roaches, they are evil, and they are godless (or they don't believe in Science like we believe in Science). They are stupid, they are unworthy of procreation, they deserve imprisonment, they deserve disease, old age and suffering.

The easy route is to declare all terrorists, and anyone that disagrees with the government, as a threat to national security.  To stamp them out, to cleanse the human race, and to destroy their families while we're at it.  The more challenging route, the more "evil" and unpatriotic thing to do, is to try to determine how to end the war - how to negotiate a compromise that can bring some stability, not just to one region, but well beyond the borders.  It is the very thing that politicians promise to do and a higher standard we should continue to uphold.

But yes, to call a terrorist "sexy" is a very tasteless thing to do.

Cry On Cue for Idiots, Curated, 2016



Mitchell Warren and Floren Felvturn's Cry On Cue is awaiting its publication in December 2004. This tale of two antiheroes forced to take court-ordered therapy because of self-destructive sexual behavior is a remarkable story of easy British tarts, faithfulness, lying bastards who claim they're in love with you, the futility of life, anti chick-lit satire and hamsters. The story of Floren Felvturn and Paula Brakken, the strange men in their lives, and their prudish, utterly humorless doctors, reflect the complexity of the unmedicated and loony female mind and more importantly the instinctive madness that affects all of humanity.

However, the average reader has never heard of Misses Floren’s Opus. Laden with absurd literary references and ridden with inexplicable sexual analogies, the book's reputation as a "chick-lit" satire is certainly standing strong. This is a shame because the ruttish Floren thinks very highly of both male and female readers who mean so much more to her than just mainstream sex toys for her general amusement. Therefore, since our Attempted Rapture For Idiots page was so popular last time around--together with the fact that From Hunger's Ulysses For Dummies parody creator hasn’t threatened us with a lawsuit—we've decided to present an exclusive "For Idiots" explanation of the highly experimental novel.

So join us as a rather egregiously drawn Floren introduces the lesson...





“Hello, I am Floren Felvturn. If you are
a gimboid or lacking in mental prowess,
you may need big words and simple
pictures to really understand something.
So listen up, Herbert. Here goes.”




Cry on Cue for Idiots






This is Floren Felvturn.


 




This is Floren propositioning total strangers.

ANY QUESTIONS?





This is Paula Brakken and her precocious daughter Taffy.




This is Paula being an unfit mother.
ANY QUESTIONS?
 


This is Doctor Lamron and Doctor Rateur.
Their patients have been court ordered to undergo therapy.
 


This is Floren and Paula not taking the news so well.
ANY QUESTIONS?





This is a hamster. 







This is a hamster's privacy being invaded.
ANY QUESTIONS?





 


One guy doesn't get it. The other does.


This ends Cry On Cue For Idiots. On behalf of all
of us here at The Late Mitchell Warren Museum we
urge you to chillax, bat on a sticky wicket, and remember:
It's Just A Story.
Or is it?
Yes it is.

Late Mitchell Warren RIP

Late Mitchell Warren is a character I created years ago because I was afraid of speaking my mind...and because I was eager to offend everyon...